Twinnie

Tetiba, aku membisu tanpa sebarang alasan yang dia pun tidak mengetahui punca aku berbuat sedemikian. Yang hairan, si dia pun tidak bertanya apa-apa so i can see from the reaction yang dia ni tak ikhlas pun berkawan dengan aku. Aku terus berdiam dan berdiam, dia pun buat hal sendiri yang don't even care about me sehingga hubungan persahabatan yang dibina semakin renggang & ibaratnya aku dan dia tidak pernah rapat as twinnie. (The word "twin" berasal drpd my junior yang selalu cakap aku dan dia ni kembar, even pak cik kebun & technition pun tahu di mana ada aku, di situ dia ada & begitulah sebaliknya) Kerenggangan kami disedari oleh ramai orang tapi tiada yang berani bertanya. So, i just kept it as my secret.



Sepanjang aku rapat dengan dia, my roommates & her roommates really jealous + sangat tak suka. Tak tahu la kenapa macam tu. *Time aku rapat dengan someone, mesti dorang tak suka tapi dorang ada bestfriend tak de pulak aku sumpah seranah macam-macam. Well, itulah manusia.. Finally, the secret dah bocor sebab my roommates ask me about it and sebenarnya aku tak nak cerita pun tapi bila dah lama pendam aku jadi sakit hati, xleh tahan pendam hal ni sorang-sorang sebab masa tu aku memang lonely.

Sebelum ni aku pernah bergaduh besar dengan dia. Sampaikan memang dia sebarkan fitnah pasal aku. Cakap kat their mummy, mom perkara yang tak baik pasal aku,ceritakan kes ni kat budak lelaki then cakap aku pulak mengadu kat budak-budak laki kat kolej tu,  siap doakan aku ni x boleh jawab exam acah2 macam nak buktikan kalau aku ni salah, aku tak akan berjaya la. *I got this romours from her roommates, my roommates tu pun sebab aku tanya apa-apa yang berkaitan dengan aku.

Part doa aku xleh jawab exam memang berkecai sangat hati ni, kawan baik kau kat kolej sendiri yang pernah rapat gila-gila dengan kau doakan kau macam tu disebabkan 1 kes yang kecil tapi diperbesar-besarkan. My luruh la jantung, berkecai hati tapi selagi aku boleh tahan aku tahan. Sampai la 1 tahap,aku terluah. Masa tu aku study kat library dengan kawan aku (sementara tunggu geng study group lain datang, aku berborak-borak la dulu) kemudian dia masuk dalam library terkedek-kedek then duduk depan aku tapi posisi dia membelakangi aku. Syukur la masa tu sebab dia tak duduk bertentangan. Aku mula cakap yang, "Hang nak tau tak, ada orang doakan aku tak dapat jawab exam wei". Tak semena-mena air mata yang aku duk tahan selama ni terjatuh then aku tudukkan wajahku ke meja sambil tutup dengan nota. (kawan aku tu laki & umur dye jauh lebih tua daripada kami yang dalam study group makes me selesa nak bagitahu dia) Alhamdulillah kata-kata dia aku ingat sampai sekarang, "Sape buat hang macam tu? Siapa?" Aku xleh nak cakap dah sebab air mata dah keluar mencurah-curah ni. Dia sambung cakap,

"Hang jangan layan la kat orang macam tu, hang tau tak doa yang buruk-buruk, jahat, x baik Allah tak makbul punya, Allah tak makbul doa-doa macam tu"

Ucapan tu sangat melegakan hatiku yang remuk ni, then aku kena luah jugak semua ni melalui air mata sebab tu ad kata-kata perempuan ni kuat kerana adanya air mata. Air mata perempuan itu bukanlah tanda lemahnya dia tetapi itulah yang menjadi kekuatannya. Now, i admit the quote. Totally agree..  Aku positifkan diri, dua tiga hari je lagi nak final exam semester 4. I need to be strong and jangan biarkan masalah tu menjatuhkan semangat aku, membuatkan aku down tapi jadikan itu suatu perkara yang i need to deny it!

Fast forward, Alhamdulillah, bila result keluar I still mantain my CGPA. Alhamdulillah..

*********

Cuti semester bermula, home sweet home.. Hehehe :D

Aku bukan seorang yang suka bergaduh. Dalam hati aku, aku masih sayangkan dia as friend. Suatu malam, i decide to know the truth.. Aku chat dia via whatsapp.. Selesaikan segala macam masalah yang melanda. Aku bukakan hati aku untuk memaafkan tapi untuk melupakan itu sulit. I need to be aware after all of this things happened. Ambil ibrah (pengajaran).

Bila buka semester baru, aku kamching balik dengan dia. Semua rasa pelik sedangkan sebelum ni aku gaduh besar dengan dia (sampaikan aku kalau nampak dia, memang terus blah, xleh dengan suara dia pun) tetiba berbaik macam tak ada apa-apa berlaku. My roommates diam je even i know dorang x suka + curious. Kami kamching sampai la satu tahap, aku rasa apa yang dia buat tu sangatlah mengjengkelkan & tak patut dilakukan.

Suatu hari tu, ada satu program *aku dah lupa program tu & kat mana its held. Kes ni terjadi disebabkan aku malas nak drive jauh *Ok dah ingat, Program Rabbani Masuk Kampung at Rantau Panjang, so aku tanya la siapa-siapa yang  boleh tolong drivekan. Si dia ni recommended "Abang A". Mula-mula aku tak nak tau, tapi disebabkan aku memang malas sangat nak drive aku accepted the suggestion. Aku tolak sebab memang aku tak suka sangat-sangat tapi belum sampai tahap benci la kat mamat tu. Program tu dari pagi sampai petang, so A ni cadangkan bermalam kat rumah dia dulu, esoknya baru balik kolej. Aku on je sebab kat rumah dia parents and adik beradik dia semua ada.

Aku tak ingat masa mana kami pergi Pasar Rantau Panjang nak shopping-shopping cuti mata la hajatnya. *Fyi, RP tu memang tempat fav aku. Sampaikan kawan aku cakap aku ni kena cari calon suami orang RP la. Hahahaha.. Ok, back to the story, before ber'shopping', dia kawan aku tu tertidur then aku kejutkan la, habis lembut dah aku kejutkan jauh la beza dgn aku kejutkan adik & kakak aku.. Hahaha. Then, tiber je A ni cakap, "Jangan la kejut macam tu, nanti dye pening, slow2". Aku geram gak sebab dah naik kereta aku, dorang duk depan la aku duk belakang tapi rasa macam diri ni pengikut sahaja & kereta tu milik orang lain. OMG! Dengan geram aku jawab, "Tahu la". Lepas tu A ni kejutkan dengan siku dye menyentuh lengan dia tu *A tu lelaki eh, & bagi aku dah ada perempuan, biar lah aku je buat kerja kejut2 ni + ko ingat ko sentuh pakai siku tu tak teransang ke.. Ni nak marah ni nak marah ni.. Terus hilang mood aku nak shopping time tu. 

Still shopping coz dah sampai kan, time pilih baju, aku ni ada tapi macam x wujud a. Ukur bahu pun A tengokkan, muat ke tak lepas sarung tu A tengokkan & decide, lepas sarung tu nak tanggalkan balik A pegangkan baju + tudung supaya tak terangkat.. Ko ghaseee? Urghh.. Naik tocang eh.. Sakit pulak mata aku ni. This is not about the jealous issues, tapi kalau aku la kan, memang tak la suruh laki pegangkan, ukurkan, decide oke ke tak. Bentuk badan tu ada la.. *So, kalau korang la, Please la jangan buat macam tu. Jaga sikit pegaulan & batas2 antara lelaki & perempuan. Bila dah pilih baju, A pulak belanjakan (blouse warna blueblack) then tetiba A nak cari pulak kemeja warna blueblack tapi pergi semua kedai tak ada yang padan sebab bidang dada dye lebar *sado la orang cakap. Then, aku pulak beli baju, berkenan la, lawa beb tapi mahal la bagi aku RM40 tapi tetap nak beli sebab aku yang beriya-riya sangat nak shopping. *Usually, aku pergi kedai murah je yang blouse harga RM20 sehelai. Tapi dah aku pun lupa kedai tu kat mana, ikut je la jalan kedai dalam pasar tu. Time bayar, tetiba A bayarkan, aku buat-buat terkejut la padahal dalam hati suka orang belanja, jimat duit aku weh.. *Suka part tu je la.

Time to go home! Home la sangat, hostel kolej je. Hahaha.. Sebab rasa tersiksa sangat duk dengan diorang. Hahaha.. Dah malam, around 9.30 malam. So, dia lapar then A decide nak berhenti makan kat tempat dia biasa lepak. Aku dah tak syok dah sebab duit aku kurang dah, nak makan lagi pulak tu. Last2 aku order roti canai je satu + air suam (even aku lapar sangat, sebab nak cut cost + masa tu memang aku berkira sangat bab makan, korang jangan contohi aku bab ni eh. Now, aku dah tak berkira bab makan sebab aku mula sedar kesihatan lebih penting + kalau aku sakit kat sana xde orang akan jaga aku). Apa yang aku nak cerita eh? Hahaha.. Oke, bila makanan sampai, dia dengan gediknya mintak A tolong perahkan hirisan limau nipis atas makanan dye + buat2 merajuk laa. Ewwww! Namuntah la aku.. Then, masa makan tu ada la berbincang pasal next programme, Kem Smart Skuad Elit Sekolah Tanjung Mas. Dia mintak cadangan nak buat apa, aku bagi la idea2 paling bernas yang aku ada, tapi dia buat tak dengar aje. Tapi bila A bagi cadangan terus catat & tetiba telinga tu dengar pulak.. Ko ghaseee? What's your function to be there with them? Aku pun bakal fasilitator jugak okayhhh.. Lepas tu, aku terus sentap, terasa sangat3.. Masa otw balik hostel pulak, tetiba pulak macam mengarahkan aku utk pergi ke party bithday adik kepada A within 2 weeks after. Aku pun iyekan je la tapi dalam otak aku ni ligat nak kasi alasan aku tetiba tak leh nak attend bila dekat2 dengan majlis tu nanti. *Jahat gak aku eh. Sebab aku rasa macam diorang nak guna-guna aku je. See? Banyak dah situasi yang menyatakan apa yang aku rasa. 

Beberapa hari lepas tu, aku tetiba diam membisu tak bertegur dengan si dia. 

Aku tahu aku pun tak perfect tapi memang aku tak boleh terima apa yang telah terjadi. Dengan perangai dia macam tu sedangkan dia tu memang tahu batas2 , pakaian pun elok, tudung labuh, sekolah agama tapi buat macam tu, ibarat aku ni wak wujud, aku rasa alone even dia ada. Begitulah si dia bila dengan mana-mana lelaki, even kau ada sebelah dia pun kau terasa tiada baginya. Dan tetiba hati aku ni dicampur pulak dengan kes gaduh besar kami sebelum tu. Jadi hati aku dah tertutup untuk dia lagi dalam hidup aku. Bagi aku, biarlah aku tiada kawan daripada berkawan dengan orang macam tu. 

Tak dinafikan, aku sebenarnya rindu hubungan persahabatan yang terjalin tu dan aku ikhlas berkawan dengannya even ramai yang tak suka, ramai yang burukkan dia depan aku tapi ikhlas aku dipermainkan. Tak semua orang akan ikhlas berkawan dengan kau seperti mana kau ikhlas berkawan dengan diorang. Since that, aku x de dah terlalu rapat dengan kawan-kawan aku even my bff , my bestie sebab aku serik + tak nak perkara yang sama berulang kepada aku. Sejak tu jugak, aku berjaga-jaga apabila berkawan, tak menceritakan semua masalah aku selagi aku boleh pendam sendirian. 

Facebook Greetings

(Gambar hanya sekadar hiasan, tiada kaitan dgn post kali ni k)

Perkenalan kami bermula drpd FaceBook..
Oyeahhh.. FaceBook bang ang..

Masa 2010 dulu, mmg sis suka sgt chatting via fb messenger tpi lama kelamaan dah berkurang sbb dah tak ketagih dgn fb2 niyh..In 2016 or 2017.. Tetiba, sis dapat 1 inbox daripada seseorang tapi memang totally stranger la. Sis x kisah pun coz mmg ad buat bisnes online then reply je la even bukan tanya pasal bisnes yang sis duk promote2 tuh. I thought, maybe dye nak berkenalan dulu then sis tarik slow2 utk jadi downline ke ape kan.. Hahaha.. Dah kepala otak ni fikir pasal bisnes , downline, income ajee.. Teruks jugak laaa.. Wakakaka... First dye bagi salam (ofkoz la) + puji nama sis coz it's unique (ramai yg cakap macam tu) Tapi kali ni my respond agak berbeza.. Sis tercerita pulak asal usul nama sis kat dye.. Hahahaa..

Second day, tetiba dapat whatsapp from stranger jugak tetiba says "awak". Erkk.. Dah malas layan sebenarnya coz tetiba hantar macam tu kan..Dah la stranger.. Takut jugak kita pum.. Hahaha.. Tapi acah2 profesional la, sis tanya ni siapa. Then dye cakap la yg dlm messenger semalam tu la, ambik nombor sis kat wall fb (and i did not suprise at all coz mmg sis yg letak coz dah memang buat bisnes kan) and i just reply.. "oh..okay".

Actually, sis memang xde layan pun, my style 'orang hantar whatsapp baru reply,xde terhegeh2 nak chat'. But, dye selalu whatsapp me, nak2 bila larut malam coz dye kerja 12 hours per day , 6 days per week. Jadual kerja dye masuk 7 pagi keluar 7 malam, and if masuk 7 malam keluar 7 pagi (selang seli la kalau minggu tu shift malam, next week shift pagi pulak) If shift pagi, dia akan ada masa jugak nak chat sis sblm dye tido. Kalau tak silap pukul 10 malam je dye akan terus tido sbb esoknya nk kerja pulak. Biasanya chat 1/2 jam then dye cakap nk tido mmg terus tido la.. Dasyat & punctual gak r dye ni. *Apekes sis ingat satu persatu ni eh.. kuat pulak ingatan bab2 tak penting macam ni. If la belajar ingatan kuat macam ni kan best.

Hari berganti hari, minggu berganti minggu, bulan berganti bulan.

Still contact dye. Tapi langit tak selalu cerah, ade hujan ribut taufan gak.. Hahhaa..

Then, selepas 3 bulan kot kenal, tetiba lost contact. Sis diam, dye pun diam. *Well, my style macam sis cakap kat atas la. Tapi, bila dah lama contact kan, rasa janggal pun ade tetiba membisu ni. Kadang tu, sis mulakan chat, tpi nak boleh ke reply tu lambat la & tak sepanjang dulu. Just tanya sepatah, jawab sepatah. Then, sis pun diam.

Sampai la satu tahap, sis dah tak boleh pendam sorang2 then i told the story kat 2 orang kawan rapat sis kat kolej tu.. Of course , their respond be likeee "Maria, r you serious. Tak sangka Maria macam ni". Hanya mampu memberikan sekelumit senyuman pahit. Then, i decide to delete the number and move on.. Wakakak.. Tapi, my mind always teringat kat dye.. OMG! Parah yang amat. I try busykan diri dengan buat bisnes sungguh-sungguh, study, tido, assignment dll.. Tapi klu ada masa lapang je mesti teringat kat dye.. Uishh... Dugaan yg amat pedih... Sabar je la.. *Sampai sekarang sis dapat rasa sakitnya tuh di sini di dalam hatiku..

Nak citer ke tak nak part ni ehh..Hahaha

Last2, sis xleh sangat menanggung perit tu sampaikan sis tebalkan muka mintak no phone dye via fb messenger dgn mencipta alasan bahawanya contact hilang.. Pandai eh... Tpi perasaan malu tu tetap ada even dye x tahu the truth tapi still sis x contact jgk.. Hahaha *Tak tau kenapa sis buat macam tu

Nak dipendekkan cerita...

Setelah lama berdiam seribu bahasa, i just stalk dye punya fb, ig.. Huhuhu..

Masa bulan puasa 2018 (which is this year) , sis kerja as part time promoter baju lelaki jemana Revsport. Tanpa diduga dye datang sana utk beli baju raya la.. Huhuhu.. Terkejut beruk sis dibuatnya then tipu kata sakit perut gi tandas, agak lama tpi xleh lama sangat sebab partner sorang lagi tu tgh rehat. Bila balik dari tandas, Kak Liza pulak cakap suruh pergi depan sebab ada customer nak saiz baju bla bla bla..And i know, the customer is dye.. Panas muka, plus takut ade semua.. Then, sis pergi kat bahagian lain. Bila tanya macam mana, sis jawab "settle". Maaf  terpaksa.. Hehehe..

Huhhhhhhh!!!  Raya 2018, dye ajak sis keluar.. OMG! Tak tau nak respond ape, sis just jawab okay.
Tapi ade tipu gak aa sebab dye ajak kluar raya ke-5 klu x silap tpi sis cakap kluar even ade je duk kat rumah tak buat ape2 (One of the reason is my sister still kat kampung, xnak dye tahu nanti mati awal la sis kena dgn dye). Then, raya ke berapa entah baru sis keluar tu pun selepas meminta nasihat drpd beberapa org yg berpengalaman + Kak Liza promoter yg sis kerja time bulan puasa tu. Hehehe.. Ada la side bagus and menjaga diri tu. Berbekalkan nasihat yang dikumpulkan *cewah macam detective pulak, sis buat keputusan ajak my cousin yg kecik tu darjah 2 utk temankan.. Then, tetiba sepupu sis sorang lagi cakap nak ikut jugak, apa lagi... On terus la.. Ad la peneman utk sis borak2 sebab sis pun first time jumpa dye, then kira stranger la kan kenal via fb & ws je. 

Raya kat rumah terbuka + naik rumah my BFF.. Kenyang2 then dye ajak pergi Pantai Rhu Sepuluh, Setiu.. Bapak aa jauh.. Katanya tenang + cantik + tak ramai orang. So, ikutkan je laa. Bila hantar kami balik, dye suruh tunggu + tanya "Jah bila nak kawen?" Ok, i couldn't imagine hows my face reaction are.. Hahhaa.. My answer, "Umm,,tak tau la.. 3-4 tahun lagi kot, sebab nak smbung belajar lagi". Dye pun jawab pulak, "Tak la bila dah alam kerja xde fikir lain dah, fikir kawen je la sebab xde bnda lain lagi nak buat, nak ad orang uruskan makan minum pakaian ape semua". Lepas tu, membisu balik sampai sekarang.. *Tak tau la ape kes kejap timbul kejap tenggelam ni. Ingat kapal selam ke main2 macam tu

Till now, i still remember the moment..  A few days kebelakangan ni, tetiba sis selalu teringat kat dye.. Idk why this happened.. "I hope kalau betul dye jodoh aq, Engkau permudahkanlah Ya Allah. Tapi jika dia bukan jodohku, maka jauhkanlah perasaan ini dan dia dari hidupku. Semoga aq dipertemukan jodoh dengan orang yang baik2.. Allahumma Amiin"

Apa-apapun dye tetap dalam kenangan + pengalaman pahit manis dalam menempuhi hidup sis yang berliku-liku ini, Huhuhu.. Buat masa ini, sis perlu belajar bahawa setiap yang datang tidak semestinya kekal dalam hidup, maybe Allah hadirkan seseorang itu untuk berkenalan dan pergi. 

Fyi, i always think that was the craziest things that i've done in my life..

Sis Qowiy

 

My Personality

ENTREPRENEUR PERSONALITY (ESTP, -A/-T)

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.

Helen Keller

Entrepreneurs always have an impact on their immediate surroundings – the best way to spot them at a party is to look for the whirling eddy of people flitting about them as they move from group to group. Laughing and entertaining with a blunt and earthy humor, Entrepreneur personalities love to be the center of attention. If an audience member is asked to come on stage, Entrepreneurs volunteer – or volunteer a shy friend.

Theory, abstract concepts and plodding discussions about global issues and their implications don’t keep Entrepreneurs interested for long. Entrepreneurs keep their conversation energetic, with a good dose of intelligence, but they like to talk about what is – or better yet, to just go out and do it. Entrepreneurs leap before they look, fixing their mistakes as they go, rather than sitting idle, preparing contingencies and escape clauses.

Never Confuse Movement With Action

Entrepreneurs are the likeliest personality type to make a lifestyle of risky behavior. They live in the moment and dive into the action – they are the eye of the storm. People with the Entrepreneur personality type enjoy drama, passion, and pleasure, not for emotional thrills, but because it’s so stimulating to their logical minds. They are forced to make critical decisions based on factual, immediate reality in a process of rapid-fire rational stimulus response.

This makes school and other highly organized environments a challenge for Entrepreneurs. It certainly isn’t because they aren’t smart, and they can do well, but the regimented, lecturing approach of formal education is just so far from the hands-on learning that Entrepreneurs enjoy. It takes a great deal of maturity to see this process as a necessary means to an end, something that creates more exciting opportunities.

Also challenging is that to Entrepreneurs, it makes more sense to use their own moral compass than someone else’s. Rules were made to be broken. This is a sentiment few high school instructors or corporate supervisors are likely to share, and can earn Entrepreneur personalities a certain reputation. But if they minimize the trouble-making, harness their energy, and focus through the boring stuff, Entrepreneurs are a force to be reckoned with.

Most People Don’t Listen Well Enough

With perhaps the most perceptive, unfiltered view of any type, Entrepreneurs have a unique skill in noticing small changes. Whether a shift in facial expression, a new clothing style, or a broken habit, people with this personality type pick up on hidden thoughts and motives where most types would be lucky to pick up anything specific at all. Entrepreneurs use these observations immediately, calling out the change and asking questions, often with little regard for sensitivity. Entrepreneurs should remember that not everyone wants their secrets and decisions broadcast.

Sometimes Entrepreneurs’ instantaneous observation and action is just what’s required, as in some corporate environments, and especially in emergencies.

If Entrepreneurs aren’t careful though, they may get too caught in the moment, take things too far, and run roughshod over more sensitive people, or forget to take care of their own health and safety. Making up only four percent of the population, there are just enough Entrepreneurs out there to keep things spicy and competitive, and not so many as to cause a systemic risk.

Entrepreneurs are full of passion and energy, complemented by a rational, if sometimes distracted, mind. Inspiring, convincing and colorful, they are natural group leaders, pulling everyone along the path less traveled, bringing life and excitement everywhere they go. Putting these qualities to a constructive and rewarding end is Entrepreneurs’ true challenge.

ENTREPRENEUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

Entrepreneur Strengths

• Bold – People with the Entrepreneur personality type are full of life and energy. There is no greater joy for Entrepreneurs than pushing boundaries and discovering and using new things and ideas.
• Rational and Practical – Entrepreneurs love knowledge and philosophy, but not for their own sake. What’s fun for Entrepreneur personalities is finding ideas that are actionable and drilling into the details so they can put them to use. If a discussion is completely arbitrary, there are better uses for Entrepreneurs’ time.
• Original – Combining their boldness and practicality, Entrepreneurs love to experiment with new ideas and solutions. They put things together in ways no one else would think to.
• Perceptive – This originality is helped by Entrepreneurs’ ability to notice when things change – and when they need to change! Small shifts in habits and appearances stick out to Entrepreneurs, and they use these observations to help create connections with others.
• Direct – This perceptive skill isn’t used for mind games – Entrepreneurs prefer to communicate clearly, with direct and factual questions and answers. Things are what they are.
• Sociable – All these qualities pull together to make a natural group leader in Entrepreneurs. This isn’t something that they actively seek – people with this personality type just have a knack for making excellent use of social interactions and networking opportunities.

Entrepreneur Weaknesses

• Insensitive – Feelings and emotions come second to facts and “reality” for Entrepreneurs. Emotionally charged situations are awkward, uncomfortable affairs, and Entrepreneurs’ blunt honesty doesn’t help here. These personalities often have a lot of trouble acknowledging and expressing their own feelings as well.
• Impatient – Entrepreneurs move at their own pace to keep themselves excited. Slowing down because someone else “doesn’t get it” or having to stay focused on a single detail for too long is extremely challenging for Entrepreneurs.
• Risk-prone – This impatience can lead Entrepreneurs to push into uncharted territory without thinking of the long-term consequences. Entrepreneur personalities sometimes intentionally combat boredom with extra risk.
• Unstructured – Entrepreneurs see an opportunity – to fix a problem, to advance, to have fun – and seize the moment, often ignoring rules and social expectations in the process. This may get things done, but it can create unexpected social fallout.
• May Miss the Bigger Picture – Living in the moment can cause Entrepreneurs to miss the forest for the trees. People with this personality type love to solve problems here and now, perhaps too much. All parts of a project can be perfect, but the project will still fail if those parts do not fit together.
• Defiant – Entrepreneurs won’t be boxed in. Repetition, hardline rules, sitting quietly while they are lectured at – this isn’t how Entrepreneurs live their lives. They are action-oriented and hands-on. Environments like school and much entry-level work can be so tedious that they’re intolerable, requiring extraordinary effort from Entrepreneurs to stay focused long enough to get to freer positions.

ENTREPRENEUR RELATIONSHIPS

When it comes to romantic relationships, people with the Entrepreneur personality type can hardly be said to be pining away for their wedding day. Life is fun and full of surprises (something Entrepreneurs have particular skill in delivering), and they enjoy it all in the here and now. Entrepreneurs may not spend a lot of time planning for “someday”, but their enthusiasm and unpredictability make them thrilling dating partners.

Entrepreneurs’ relationships are far from boring. Their improvisational style creates a seemingly never-ending list of activities and hobbies to be involved in, and Entrepreneurs fully encourage their partners to partake.

Entrepreneurs love new ideas and the occasional philosophical discussion – but they need to be topics that can explored through action together, not just idle talk. There’s musing about the causes and effects of epidemic obesity, and there’s training for a marathon together to promote healthy living.

As Good as Spring Itself

Sexually, Entrepreneurs have no real reservations. It’s fun, it’s physically enjoyable, new ideas are always welcome, and Entrepreneur personalities’ strong perception keeps them well-tuned to their partners’ needs. However, Entrepreneurs’ separation of the physical act from the more emotional and spiritual connections that many other types look for in intimacy can be a serious source of tension if everybody isn’t on the same page. Some types need sex to be a genuine expression of love – Entrepreneurs just aren’t one of them.

As time passes, it can be challenging for Entrepreneurs to move their relationships to deeper, more emotionally intimate levels. Easily bored, people with the Entrepreneur personality type seek constant excitement – sometimes even intentionally exposing themselves to risk if they feel stuck. If their partners aren’t able to keep up, Entrepreneurs may just end up looking for someone new. It’s not that Entrepreneur personalities are unfaithful. Rather, they may think to themselves “This isn’t working, so why should I pretend it is?” Entrepreneurs are rational, and can exercise self-control if they choose, but being as charming and popular as they are, it can sometimes be a little too easy to move on.

Travel Only With Those You Love

As with any relationship, it takes work and patience. Not every day can be a thrill a minute. But Entrepreneurs are adaptable, curious individuals, which certainly helps to keep the flame burning. Maintaining healthy relationships is the ultimate chance for Entrepreneurs to exercise their talents in perceiving every change in their partners’ mood and behavior, while also using their problem-solving abilities to address their needs. Entrepreneurs can also strengthen more neglected traits, like emotional sensitivity and long-term planning.

ENTREPRENEUR FRIENDS

People with the Entrepreneur personality type are definitely the life of the party. With an enviable imagination and invigorating sense of spontaneity, Entrepreneurs are never boring. They love exploring interesting ideas, both in discussion and by going out and seeing for themselves, which means that Entrepreneurs always seem to have some fun activity hidden up their sleeves. At the same time, Entrepreneur personalities are easy-going, tolerant, and charming, making them naturally quite popular.

When I Have an Idea, I Turn Down the Flame...

Hands-on, physical activities like team sports are Entrepreneurs’ idea of fun, and these environments give them plenty of chances to make new friends. There is little difficulty for Entrepreneurs here – they seem to get along with just about everyone, and make new friends wherever they go. Entrepreneurs live in the moment, and as a naturally confident personality type (especially if they are Assertive as well), they don’t worry much about what others think of them. This attracts friends who share their attitude and zest for life.

While not opposed to long philosophical discussions, and often enjoying the intellectual exercise, Entrepreneurs are unlikely to develop friendships based solely around one-on-one discussions about European economic challenges and the role of religion in politics. Straightforward to the point of being blunt, Entrepreneurs call it like they see it, and an honest opinion in debate is a sure thing. But at their hearts, Entrepreneurs are people of action, preferring to do what can be done than to talk about what might someday be.

...Eventually It Builds Up and Explodes – That’s My Idea

Sitting idle, especially in boredom, is the bane of Entrepreneurs’ existence.

Exploration, excitement, adrenaline and risk – Entrepreneurs’ friends should be prepared for all of these things. Often enough they’re happy to perform for the crowd, but they also tend to encourage their friends to join in. Most personality types might take “thanks but no thanks” personally, but Entrepreneurs are comfortable with who they are, and are more likely to just shrug their shoulders and move on with those friends who are game for adventure.

ENTREPRENEUR PARENTS

In a lot of ways, Entrepreneurs are what many children would consider the perfect parent. Fun-loving and playful, flexible and understanding, people with the Entrepreneur personality type genuinely enjoy spending time with their children, and know how to make sure everyone is having a good time. Entrepreneurs have a natural curiosity and spontaneity that is perfectly matched to the wonder and insatiable desire to learn that young children have.

Looking at Everything as if for the First Time

Entrepreneurs love hands-on activities, and their children aren’t left wanting for someone to play catch with, or to help them build a model for school. Sports, hiking, and other practical, hands-on hobbies are all welcomed and encouraged. At the same time, given their aversion to rules and schedules themselves, Entrepreneurs aren’t likely to forcibly enter their children into all manner of clubs and teams. If their kids want to play softball, great – if not, well, they’ll just find something else to do.

Maybe the greatest thing about Entrepreneur parents is that they see their children as equal members of the family.

Entrepreneurs give their children freedom, encourage them to use their own judgment (especially with the minor stuff), and to follow their hearts – to heck with what other people think. Entrepreneur personalities keep a close enough eye on their kids, using that knack for picking up on even the slightest changes in others’ moods and habits, that they can step in with extra guidance when things start to go wrong.

Entrepreneurs do have one significant parental challenge though: emotional bonding. Feelings tend to be seen by Entrepreneurs as a bit of an irrational distraction, rather than a tool for expression and connection. If their children happen to be more sensitive, this can be a source of tension between Entrepreneurs and their children. Frank honesty isn’t always the best prescription.

We Are All Apprentices in a Craft Where No One Is Master

Still, Entrepreneurs can often rely on a more sensitive partner to help them out in this regard, and the healthy bonds they form through their shared activities can help to bridge the gap. Entrepreneurs have the added benefit of direct and understanding relationships – their children won’t feel so much like they have to hide their mistakes and challenges, the holy grail of parent-child communication.

ENTREPRENEUR CAREERS

When it comes to Entrepreneurs’ career options, “action” is the word of the day. People with the Entrepreneur personality type think on their feet and are great at making quick decisions in the heat of the moment. At the same time, they’re affable people who always seem to make friends and connections wherever they go. Popularity and solid networking can be huge assets in the working world, and Entrepreneurs nail it.

This social intelligence, combined with Entrepreneurs’ natural boldness and improvisational skill, makes sales, business negotiations, marketing, even acting – any tense, competitive environment – a great fit. Entrepreneur personalities trust themselves to make the right call. Risks, big and small, are a part of life, and Entrepreneurs don’t sit around waiting for some boss at the top to tell them what to do. This can get Entrepreneurs into trouble, but often enough it’s exactly what’s needed, and can boost them up the career ladder just as well.

It’s hard to imagine Entrepreneurs choosing secure but boring jobs over less stable but more exciting careers.

Restrictions, rules, highly structured environments – these are great ways to drive Entrepreneurs crazy. People with this personality type live life on their own terms, and this makes them brilliant business people and freelancers. These roles also allow them to delegate the more tedious aspects of work, the accounting, meticulous research and so forth, to those better suited.

Entrepreneurs are curious, energetic people with a taste for action. There are those who analyze and manage the logistics of public safety resource distribution, and there are those who drive the ambulances, patrol the streets, and save lives with their own two hands – Entrepreneur personalities are the latter. They are highly observant yet impatient, enabling them to take in the whole of a situation at a glance, and act. Any emergency response role is great for Entrepreneurs, whether it be as paramedics, police officers, or soldiers.

There’s Nothing to It – Just Sit Down and Bleed Your Passion

This quality of living in the moment and craving immediate results for their efforts translates well into another field: sports. The thrill of competition, of pushing themselves to the physical limit to rack up just one more point for the win can have no comparison for Entrepreneurs. Whether they are on the field as athletes themselves, coaching from the sidelines or commentating from high above, people with the Entrepreneur personality type revel in well-honed team effort and a well-executed plan, and any of these positions makes a fine line of work for them.

ENTREPRENEURS IN THE WORKPLACE

In just about any environment, the workplace included, it’s pretty easy to spot Entrepreneurs. Boisterous and spontaneous, fun-loving and maybe a little crass, people with the Entrepreneur personality type love tackling problems as they arise and telling great stories about their solutions afterwards. Naturally, some positions work better with these qualities than others, but Entrepreneurs are adaptable individuals, and can find a way to make just about any situation a little more interesting.

Entrepreneur Subordinates

Entrepreneurs’ most challenging position is the one that most people have to start out in: as subordinates. While perfectly capable of exercising restraint on their own terms, Entrepreneur personalities hate having others’ rules and regulations foisted upon them. Entrepreneurs are known for their experimentation, improvisation and quick thinking – if they’re not allowed to use these qualities and have to check in with a supervisor for every little thing, they’ll be bored and frustrated.

Entrepreneurs know well that risk equals reward, and they’ll gladly skirt more mundane tasks in favor of something a little more exciting, in the hope that it catches someone’s attention. A plaque and a bonus go a long way for people with this personality type. Getting ahead by the tenets of staid reliability, quiet helpfulness, or mere seniority isn’t Entrepreneurs’ way – they move forward by sheer force of personality in a well-handled crisis.

Entrepreneur Colleagues

As colleagues, Entrepreneurs have a work hard, play hard mentality – as long as everyone else is pulling their weight, they’ll gladly pull their own, and have a great time doing it. Charming and popular individuals that they are, networking comes naturally to Entrepreneurs. These qualities make it easy for Entrepreneur personalities to get along with just about anyone.

At the same time, if Entrepreneurs see a colleague as incompetent, or worse, lazy, they let them know in no uncertain terms. Emotional sensitivity is not their strong suit. Entrepreneurs are very observant and well-tuned to changes in their colleagues’ habits and moods – unless they themselves are the cause of distress.

Entrepreneur Managers

Management positions are where Entrepreneurs are usually most comfortable, as they often give the most flexibility. Rules and traditions are a bother for people with the Entrepreneur personality type – they’d rather try a bunch of new ideas with a chance of getting things done faster or better than to pay attention to “the way things have always been done” or subordinates’ comfort with experimentation. Entrepreneurs are practical, with a focus on what does, or could, work best.

This can make for a chaotic environment, but Entrepreneurs’ inspiring cult of personality makes them well-suited to handling such a thing. Entrepreneurs enjoy living in the moment. Rather than some broad, intangible future accomplishment like “making customers happy”, Entrepreneur personalities set small, clear, measurable, and attainable goals that keep things on track day-to-day, and hearty congratulations can always be relied on for a job well done. Entrepreneurs keep their eyes on the finish line, but they get there step by step.

ENTREPRENEUR PERSONALITY – CONCLUSION

Few personality types are as charming and attractive as Entrepreneurs. Known for their ability to improvise and focus completely on the present, Entrepreneurs are great at finding exciting new things to explore and experience. Entrepreneurs’ creativity and down-to-earth attitude are invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.

Yet Entrepreneurs can be easily tripped up in situations where their focus on practical matters is more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder, or learning to plan ahead, Entrepreneurs need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.

What you have read so far is just an introduction into the complex concept that is the Entrepreneur personality type. You may have muttered to yourself, “wow, this is so accurate it’s a little creepy” or “finally, someone understands me!” You may have even asked “how do they know more about me than the people I’m closest to?”

This is not a trick. You felt understood because you were. We’ve studied how Entrepreneurs think and what they need to reach their full potential. And no, we did not spy on you – many of the challenges you’ve faced and will face in the future have been overcome by other Entrepreneurs. You simply need to learn how they succeeded.

But in order to do that, you need to have a plan, a personal roadmap. The best car in the world will not take you to the right place if you do not know where you want to go. We have told you how Entrepreneurs tend to behave in certain circumstances and what their key strengths and weaknesses are. Now we need to go much deeper into your personality type and answer “why?”, “how?” and “what if?”

This knowledge is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. Are you ready to learn why Entrepreneurs act in the way they do? What motivates and inspires you? What you are afraid of and what you secretly dream about? How you can unlock your true, exceptional potential?

Our premium profiles provide a roadmap towards a happier, more successful, and more versatile YOU. They are not for everyone though – you need to be willing and able to challenge yourself, to go beyond the obvious, to imagine and follow your own path instead of just going with the flow. If you want to take the reins into your own hands, we are here to help you.

Ready to dig deeper and discover the truth about your impulsive, passionate Entrepreneur personality?

Find out how you can build on your natural strengths, without sacrificing your spontaneity

The insights into your personality type on the last few pages probably had you nodding along in agreement at points...

But that was just the beginning.

Now it’s time to dig even deeper and find out what makes you the Entrepreneur personality you are!

So if you’ve ever wondered why you’re better in a crisis than you are at planning ahead...

Or why some people are attracted to your infectious personality like moths to a flame, while others just seem determined to cause you problems...

...then it’s time to satisfy your curiosity!

Entrepreneurs are some of the most complex, intriguing and misunderstood people around – and you’re no exception.

You truly thrive in some situations, when your natural gifts for improvising and problem-solving come in useful.

But do you sometimes find that your bold, creative approach brings you into conflict with others – even when that’s the last thing on your mind?

Or that some people even take advantage of your impulsiveness and flexibility, meaning you expend a lot of energy in the wrong direction – and without the happy outcome you wanted.

Life for Entrepreneur personalities can be a real rollercoaster, with frequent highs and lows.

That’s why your Entrepreneur Premium Profile is designed to help you overcome some of these challenges, but without compromising your unique talents.

Have you ever wondered why:

• You’re a natural improviser and good in a crisis, but find it difficult to focus or plan for the longer term?
• You have a keen eye for details and possibilities, but vague concepts and theories frustrate you?
• You are a great communicator, but sometimes have difficulties seeing things through?
• You enjoy being part of a team but are often challenged by bosses and authority figures, even when you want to avoid conflict?
• You’re a good observer with a talent for spotting opportunities, but often feel that other people don’t really appreciate what you do?

Your Entrepreneur Premium Profile will help you answer these questions and many more, so you can make better use of your strengths and improve your weaknesses.

If you’ve ever felt a desire to smooth your path in life or get a better perspective on things, the information in your profile will come in useful. Because the more you understand your own personality, the better you’ll be able to take control of your life.

Ood Girl Out

This story is really amazing!
A lot of lessons I could take it into my life.
Sometimes, the person that we think ANYTHING to us, they're killer in silence.
Sometimes, the person that we think NOTHING in our life, they're the worth people in the world.
Incase whatever happened in our life, think positively! Try to be a positive person although its very very hard to do. 
Quality is better than quantity. But,its important too to be friends with all people and don't create anemies,
because the anemies will fall down by its own. Definetely!
One day, we'll found the REAL BEST FRIEND in our life.
Not the FAKE one!

#quietemotionalwhenitinvolvesaboutfreindsfeeling
#thinkwiselybeforedoingsomething
#appericiatetothosearecomeintoourlife
#thinkpositively
#keepitup

Sila tekan untuk menonton :)

Ikhlaslah. Ikhlas itu melegakan! :)

Hati Kita Allah Yang Pegang. Maka Ikhlaskan Hati...

Apa perasaan kita, Jika bunga atau buah yang kita tanam, yang kita jaga, yang kita sayang, yang kita rawat, tiba-tiba besoknya ketika sudah masak, ketika sudah mekar, ada orang yang memetiknya, ada hewan yang mengambilnya.

Apa yang kamu rasakan?
Kita marah, kita kecewa, kita sedih.Susah payah aku menjaganya, kenapa orang lain yang menikmatinya?

Sama halnya dengan perasaan.Ketika ada seseorang yang kita suka, saat dia sedih, kita jadi tempat dia berbagi kesedihan. kita memberi semangat untuk dia, kita pun menjaga perasaannya.

Disaat dia kembali bersemangat, kembali ceria, kembali tenang, tiba-tiba suatu hari, dia jatuh cinta pada orang lain.Kecewa? Pastinya.

Kecewa, marah. sedih. kenapa aku yang susah payah menjaga perasaan dia, orang lain yang medapatkan cintanya?

Tarik nafas. sebut nama Allah sejenak. pejamkan mata.Di sini kita melupakan sesuatu.

Bunga dan buah yang kita tanam itu, tanahnya milik siapa?Orang yang kita sayang dan jaga perasaannya itu, hatinya siapa yang pegang?

Tak ada yang lain kecuali Allah, pemilik segala apa yang ada dilangit dan dibumi.Jadi ikhlas lah dalam berbuat kebaikan. mungkin Allah ingin mengajarkan sesuatu pada kita.

Allah ingin kita tahu tidak semua yang kita harapkan menjadi kenyataan. Allah ingin kita tahu tanpa keihklasan segala perbuatan akan mendatangkan lelah semata.Allah ingin kita tahu yang indah di dunia itu sementara.

Allah ingin kita tahu takdir tetap milik DIA walau impian itu milik kita.

Maka berlapang dadalah. sesuatu yang akan jadi milik kita, walau sesulit apapun kita mendapatkannya, kalau Allah berkehendak jadi milik kita, pasti akan jadi milik kita akhirnya.

Tapi jika sesuatu itu bukan untuk kita, walaupun datangnya sesenang apapun, kalau Allah tiak berkehendak jadi milik kita, maka tak akan pernah menjadi milik kita.

Ikhlaslah. Ikhlas itu melegakan! :)

“Allah memberi apa yang kita perlukan, bukan apa yang kita inginkan”

Kesabaranku Tercabar

Jika seorang itu tak banyak cakap tetapi laju bila bercakap, dia sebenarya berahsia .

Jika seorang itu makan dengan gelojoh, dia sebenarnya tertekan .

Jika seorang itu menangis kerana perkara kecil, dia sebenarnya lemah lembut .

Jika seorang itu cepat marah walaupun tentang pekara2 kecil,dia sebenarnya perlukan kasih sayang .

Bismillah..

Assalamualaikum...

Malam ni Kak Jah dah nak bertolak ke Kuala Lumpur, Damansara coz teman my beloved sister to have an interview. So,malam ni tak boleh nak ber'blog'. So,awal-awal lagi Kak Jah nak share kisah sedih pasal Kak Jah. Dah lama pendam, sampai satu saat Kak Jah tak leh tahan, Kak Jah bagitahu kat dia yang terlibat. Sungguh, sedih sangat kisah hidup Kak Jah dalam bab persahabatan ni. Allahu.. Hanya Allah yang tahu. Selain Kak Jah bagitahu dia yang terlibat tu, Kak Jah luah kat seorang kawan baik Kak Jah sorang ni. Rasa lega sikit lepas dapat luah & feedback.

*************************

Kisah ini terjadi di IPT.

Mula-mula A dan B ni tak rapat pun coz bilik pun lain-lain. Suatu malam tu, A ni ber'whatsapp' dengan B sebab nak topup je pun. Tapi B ni saje lah nak main-main macam nak tackle gitu. B ada lah tanya aku, nak tanya & buat ayat gane, Aku ada lah tolong jugak. Main-main kan... Then, lepas tu main-main ni berlanjutan sampai ke hari ini.. B panggil si A ni dengan panggilan 'Tackle'. Lama-lama, melekat sampai sekarang. Dan tak diakui, diorang sangat-sangat rapat. Kitaorang rapat jugak lah 3 orang walaupun ada ramai lagi kawan-kawan yang lain. But, bila bertiga, aku mesti tersisih. But, idk lah orang lain perasan atau tak. Mula-mula aku rasa biasa-biasa je coz aku pernah rasa dipinggirkan bila berkawan 3 orang ni masa form 5 dulu. But,masa form 5 tu aku tak bagitahu pun yang aku terasa dll dan sampai sekarang 2 orang kawan rapat aku tu tak tahu yang aku sangat-sangat terasa terhadap pinggiran yang diorang lakukan. *Kes yang form 5 tu tak de lah teruk sangat, coz diorang jaga jugak perasaan aku ni berbanding kes di IPT ni*

B ni bawak kereta pi kolej, n memang hak dia lah nak bagi sape-sape naik kereta dia kan. Yang aku sangat tak boleh tahan, suatu hari tu aku nak duduk lah kejap kat depan. n aku tahu sangat-sangat yang dia nak bagi A duk kat depan. Tapi, dia cakap, 'A lah duk kat depan'. Aku yang pendam rasa sedih n jealous sebab dia sangat lebihkan A tanpa fikir perasaan aku ni kan, terus je tinggikan suara kat dia, berkata 'tahulah A yang duduk kat depan! Orang nak duduk kejap je pun, nanti orang turun lah. Dah ambik lah heh A duduk kat depan dengan tackle dia. Olohhhh!" *Tapi ada nada macam gurau sikit lah. Jaga lah juga hati n perasaan B tu kan. Yang tak boleh blah, dia gelak aje kat aku. U know what? Air mata ni dah mencurah-curah, but aku tak tunjuk sangat lah yang kak ni nak nangis. Tapi,air mata ni memang tak boleh disengkang lagi. Keluar jugak n aku buat-buat gelak. Sejak hari tu, aku tak pernah duduk kat depan bila naik lebih daripada 2 orang. Just duduk depan bila naik berdua dengan dia je. Ye lah, adab naik kereta orang kan, tak kan lah nak jadikan dia tu macam 'driver' pulak. Hati dan perasaan aku masih boleh berkompromi lah kalau naik berdua.

Ada suatu hari tu, seorang daripada roommate aku balik. So, tinggal 3 orang je lah. Biasalah, hari minggu mestilah pergi keluar jalan-jalan. B comfirm ajak A tu sebab B ni tak boleh kalau tak ada A. Aku pun tak tahu kenapa. But biarlah walaupun aku yang akan merana nanti. Aku dengan C jalan berdua sebab aku dah tahu apabila A n B ni berkepit, memang tak boleh lepas. So, i fikir jalan lain yang boleh menyejukkan hati. Nasib baik C tak balik, kalau C balik mesti korang boleh imagine how am i, right? Ditinggalkan, dipinggirkan bagai patung cendana yang memang takde perasaan. Aku dan C terjumpa orang jual cincin, kami beli lah. RM10 satu, huhuhu student kan, mana lah ada banyak duit nak beli yang mahal-mahal kan. Bila A n B tahu kami beli cincin, diorang pun nak beli jugak. Ok lah,pergilah beli. Yang aku sedih n agak terasa, B belanja A cincin, B ni siap cerita kat aku yang dia sarungkan cincin tu ke jari manis A. *Bagi aku, kalau nak belanja aku tak kisah. But, please jangan hebohkan yang kita ni belanja sesorang sebab kita tak tahu perasaan kawan-kawan kita yang lain. Ye lah, berkawan bukan seorang, ramai-ramai. Kalau nak bagitahu sangat belanja seseorang, means itu tidak adil kepada kawan-kawan yang lain.* Sekali lagi, pada hari yang lain, B belanja A ni tengok cinema 7D dan beli hadiah bithday A sedangkan birthday A tu dah lama lepas. Aku ada dengan B masa dia beli hadiah bufday kat si A. Apa perasaan korang kalau orang buat macam tu kat korang? Aku tak kisah kalau hari tu or beberapa hari sebelum tu merupakan bufday si A, tapi ni dah lama sangat-sangat kot. Bufday A bulan 5 (kalau tak silap) n bufday aku bulan 6. Apa bezanya?? Dua-dua dah lepas, plus bufday aku baru lagi daripada si A. Bagi aku ini tidak adil & please lah jaga jugak perasaan aku yang alone ni. Kalau nak beli kat A SAHAJA, please sorokkan daripada aku or walaupun bukan aku, jangan buat jugak kat kawan-kawan yang lain. Please sangat! Masa yang cinema 7D, A dah pilih tempat yang dia nak pergi n its my time to choose what i want to..so, i choose cinema 7D. RM8 per person. Tiba-tiba A ni tak nak masuk sebab katanya takde duit. Lama berfikir & discuss, B kata biar dia yang belanja A. Apa korang rasa?? Again, dia buat perkara yang sama. bagitahu yang dia nak belanja. If front of my face!! Terus takde mood tau! Pape pown, aku tarik balik mood bahawasanya rugilah aku bayar RM8 kalau masuk dalam sambil takde mood. So, aku fikir, tu dah rezeki dia. Rezeki dia murah. Redha je lah. Masuk je kat dalam, again!! Seat tu ada 3, aku sengaja duduk yang tengah sebab aku dah tahu what will happened, dah la masa tu aku still sakit hati. wei, kalau nak belanja pun, diam-diam sudahlah! B suruh aku alih posisi, biar A duk kat tengah, aku pun mengalah je lah. 'Siapalah diri ni kalau nak dibandingkan dengan si A yang telah bertakhta di hati B, i'm nothing. Just robot yang selalu mengada-ngada ikut diorang pi jalan-jalan.

Banyak sangat yang dilakukan mengguris hati aku ni.

-Kat kedai makan

-Bab taking photo

-Bab alone

-Main whatsapp sambil memandu

Yang paling last aku nak cerita stakat ni, masa B sakit. B ni still puji-puji A walaupun A ni tak datang jenguk pun B yang sakit, datang-datang pun just nak tanya 'Ibu dah otw ke? Pukul berapa nak balik?'. Bukan nya aku nak mengungkit or tak ikhlas or apa-apa lah, tapi butanya B tu! Sekarang aku faham kenapa cinta itu buta, orang lain buat apa-apa sekalipun tak nampak dah apabila dah ada ratu yang bertakhta di hati. Cuma, please lah buka sikit mata kau untuk orang lain. Sedikit pun jadilah. Jaga lah perasaan orang lain. Maaf terkasar sebab dah lama sangat aku pendam perkara ni sorang-sorang.

Sejak belajar di sana, aku sentiasa nangis sorang-sorang, perkara remeh pun aku nangis.

Sebenarnya itulah effect daripada apa yang aku telah lalui. Orang fikir, Manjanya kau! Tapi diorang tak tahu apa yang aku rasa. Betapa besarnya kesan yang perlu aku tempuhi dek perkara ni. Memang aku selalu ambik port dalam sesuatu perkara walaupun orang tak tahu aku ambik port tentang perkara tersebut. See, sampai sekarang aku masih ingat apa yang terjadi. Masih segar dalam ingatan aku ni.

B ada jugak terasa dengan A, tapi dia tak endahkan pun apa yang pernah A tu buat kat dia sehinggakan B pernah kata kat aku, "Hati ni jatuh berkecai dah, rela n sanggup kutip balik niyh".

But, apabila aku je buat dia terasa , terus ambik port! No compromi, terus nampak kat riak wajahnya yang dia sedang marah aku. Ini sangat lah tidak adil bagi aku. Aku rasa, aku ni apa eh? Kawan waktu susah ke kot, masa senang boleh tinggalkan begitu je.

A pun sama aje, bila dengan B, memang tak pandang & takde rasa simpati dah kepada yang tersisih, just tahu nak ambik perhatian je. Ye, aku tahu, memang semua orang suka kau. Tapi tolong lihat sekeliling bahawa ada yang tersisih dan tariklah dirinya bersama.

Apakah nasib aku? Entahlah nak cakap apa lagi, tak tahu nak describe how i felt.

Biarlah Allah sahaja tahu apa yang aku rasa. Semoga aku dikurniakan insan yang sanggup mengutip aku seperti permata. Allahumma Amiin...